You hear a lot about the Clinical Year being a marathon, not a sprint. It's a cliche, and always seemed so obvious to me, that I never really put any thought into it.
That changed last Friday, when after pfficially completing my 5th week of my 6th week rotation- I hit that proverbial wall. Just like in a marathon, when you hit mile 20 and suddely it gets. really. hard. You reach that critical point where you are aware of the huge distance you've come and what you've done... and with that realization comes a few moments of "wait a minute, I really HAVEEEE done a lot to this point" and for a brief moment the magnitude of that realization can overshadow the small bit you have left to make it all. the. way.
The same is true out here on rotation. Now, I've DEFINITELY had it great on ALL of my rotations. I've been blessed with great locations, amazing and receptive preceptors, fabulous patients and of course Ryan - came into my life via a rotation- so to say I've been blessed with the luck of my rotation placement is a vast understatement. But even in the BEST of work circumstances, there's that pesky thing called "life" that matters as well. And 5 weeks into a 6 week stint of being separated from the one you love, your family, your friends in the program, the friends you originally left at home FOR the program, only having in your possession what you know you can fit into a car-trunk or baggage cart at the airport, not to mention just being a stranger in strangers' home- where your stuff, your space and privacy is never really 'yours'... it just plain old gets to you. Throw in a extra little emotional component like not being able to come home to celebrate your Da's birthday, and missing your baby brothers trip home (again!) and well, to use a running analogy: You bonk.
The good thing about the bonk... is with a little refueling, you're right back on pace. And I certainly have some AMAZING people at my 'refueling' stations. After my post-work emotional meltdown- in which I attempted to go to the gym to distract myself and ended up sobbing to Ryan in a dark, desserted yoga instead- I bounced back. Sometimes you just need to completely empty out to refeul your stores completely. Ryan talked me back out of my overly emotional state. How someone so far away can still feel and be so supportive and close is such an amazing joy and comfort to me. I am so grateful for having such a compassionate and supportive fiance. Then there was the timely call post-gym-meltdown. from my Blair Bear - killing time on her long busride home from work in Hawaii. Talk about amazing compassionate, loving people... Blair explemifies these qualities - even when I'm not in an emotional state! - and again there's that gratitude word, and thoughts of how truly blessed I am to be so surrounded by amazing people to lift me up, feed my soul, and make sure I bounce back from any 'bonk.'
So after a brief stop at the store for some Australian wine, French cheese, and bakery baguette (pictured here) in honor of my Da's birthday celebration that I was missing out on back at good ol' 30 B... I bounched back completely. Working the rest of the weekend, I saw a brand new bebe in the hospital (my favorite part of this job) and more sick kids in after-hours clinic. The weekend flew by and suddenly I am here at the last mile. Just two days left in pediatrics. I will sad to say goodbye to this rotation in particular. But like a race, I can always come back and run it again some day. For now, though, I'm focused on the next 6 marathons I have left...
xoxo
Mego
That changed last Friday, when after pfficially completing my 5th week of my 6th week rotation- I hit that proverbial wall. Just like in a marathon, when you hit mile 20 and suddely it gets. really. hard. You reach that critical point where you are aware of the huge distance you've come and what you've done... and with that realization comes a few moments of "wait a minute, I really HAVEEEE done a lot to this point" and for a brief moment the magnitude of that realization can overshadow the small bit you have left to make it all. the. way.
The same is true out here on rotation. Now, I've DEFINITELY had it great on ALL of my rotations. I've been blessed with great locations, amazing and receptive preceptors, fabulous patients and of course Ryan - came into my life via a rotation- so to say I've been blessed with the luck of my rotation placement is a vast understatement. But even in the BEST of work circumstances, there's that pesky thing called "life" that matters as well. And 5 weeks into a 6 week stint of being separated from the one you love, your family, your friends in the program, the friends you originally left at home FOR the program, only having in your possession what you know you can fit into a car-trunk or baggage cart at the airport, not to mention just being a stranger in strangers' home- where your stuff, your space and privacy is never really 'yours'... it just plain old gets to you. Throw in a extra little emotional component like not being able to come home to celebrate your Da's birthday, and missing your baby brothers trip home (again!) and well, to use a running analogy: You bonk.
The good thing about the bonk... is with a little refueling, you're right back on pace. And I certainly have some AMAZING people at my 'refueling' stations. After my post-work emotional meltdown- in which I attempted to go to the gym to distract myself and ended up sobbing to Ryan in a dark, desserted yoga instead- I bounced back. Sometimes you just need to completely empty out to refeul your stores completely. Ryan talked me back out of my overly emotional state. How someone so far away can still feel and be so supportive and close is such an amazing joy and comfort to me. I am so grateful for having such a compassionate and supportive fiance. Then there was the timely call post-gym-meltdown. from my Blair Bear - killing time on her long busride home from work in Hawaii. Talk about amazing compassionate, loving people... Blair explemifies these qualities - even when I'm not in an emotional state! - and again there's that gratitude word, and thoughts of how truly blessed I am to be so surrounded by amazing people to lift me up, feed my soul, and make sure I bounce back from any 'bonk.'
So after a brief stop at the store for some Australian wine, French cheese, and bakery baguette (pictured here) in honor of my Da's birthday celebration that I was missing out on back at good ol' 30 B... I bounched back completely. Working the rest of the weekend, I saw a brand new bebe in the hospital (my favorite part of this job) and more sick kids in after-hours clinic. The weekend flew by and suddenly I am here at the last mile. Just two days left in pediatrics. I will sad to say goodbye to this rotation in particular. But like a race, I can always come back and run it again some day. For now, though, I'm focused on the next 6 marathons I have left...
xoxo
Mego
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