So a PA walks into a bar...

Good for a yuck, these are items forwarded to me by one of my professors as actual patient notes from the real world. Some are typos, some are just plain poor word choice, others are clearly intended correctly but got lost in translation by the poor transcriptionist assigned to decode someone's horrible hand writing or crackly/muffled tape cassette dictation. And let me just say - from my personal experience in the medical profession: no, I don't think these are made up ;) Enjoy! xo Mego

1) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
2) patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year
3) on the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared
4) Patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed
5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6) Discharge status: alive, but without my permission
7) healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male mentally alert but forgetful
8) The patient refused autopsy.
9) The patient has no previous histry of suicides
10) Patient has left White Blood Cells at another hospital.
11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lbs weight gain in the past 3 days
12) PAtient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get to get this lady pregnant.
14) She is numb from her toes down
15) While in the ER, she was examined x-rated and sent home
16) The skin was moist and dry
17) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches
18) Patient was alert and unresponsive
19) She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
20) Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
21) I saw your patient today who is still under our car for physical therapy
22) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
23) The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbrocker instead
24) Skin: somewhat pale but present
25) The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor
26) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ______, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree
27) Large brown stool ambulating in the hall
28) She has no rigors or shaking chills but her husband states she was hot in bed last night
29) Patient was found in bed with her power mower.

Pouf!

I was trying to post this pic with my LAST post... but my computer was being fiesty and didn't want to upload any photos that day... so here you go.

This is what the croquembouche is made of. They're like a crispy outside, soft cookie texture inside and filled with four different flavors : vanilla, chocolate, cafe mocha, or grand marnier! And the drizzle coating you see here, is CARAMEL! what's not to like? Can I get a big OUI OUI?!?! hehehe YAYYYYYY :)

Croquembouche! French, for wedding cake :)

So yesterday morning I met with the fabulous Pascal Tiseur - a real Lyonais transplant who owns 4 diferent bakery cafe locations in town. He'll be making our cake for our wedding - I say cake-for-our-wedding instead of "wedding cake" because neither Ryan or I LIKE regular cake. And the traditional French wedding cake called "Croquembouche" (translation: cracks open in your mouth... hehe) is a nice shout out to my beloved Franceland... and Ryan is getting HIS favorite desert - in the form of S'MORES as an alternative desert at the wedding as well. If you've never seen a Croquembouche, a simple google image search will give you an idea of what the tower cake compromised of little puff pastry balls filled with whipped cream look like. For my taste-test with Monsieur Pascal, he made me a PLATE of 12 puffs!!!! I ate ONE and took the rest home... and will be bringin the other ELEVEN in to work with me tomorrow, as I do NOT need puff pastries laying around when my wedding dress fitting is 3 weeks away! LOL But let me tell you, come August 14th, they are going to be worth the extra calories :) Our croquembouche will have four different signature fillings: chocolate, vanilla, coffee, or grand marnier flavored whipped cream inside each of the puffs! Who knows what flavor you'll get when you pull one off the tower at the wedding... but trust me, you can't go wrong with any of them. They're amazing! Can't wait for you all to be at the wedding in August - and maybe taste your first Crouquembouche too :) xoxo Mego

7.5 down, 2.5 more to go!

I'm updating the blog by popular (or not-so-popular- who really reads this anyway?! lol) demand, merely because I feel I SHOULD post an update since it's been 2 weeks, although - to date this rotation has been - while FUN and EDUCATIONAL... simultaneously, pretty... well... boring! haha But of course, now that I've actually put that to TYPE, I'll be reporting back next time with multiple days of gore, mayhem and my own fumbles and incompetence... For now though, things are blissfully calm. I am working a 7-days on/ 7-days off schedule in In-patient medicine. My preceptor is an older English gentleman named "Ian" (whatelse would his name be?). He is a GREAT teacher, and has an even better sick/ sarcastic sense of humor. He jokes around with me a lot, pimps me a lot, and always buys me lunch - which is SUPER nice, but also makes me uncomfortable, as he is treating me EVERY day. Really, too nice. After our first week together, he told me in his thick Manchester accent : "Meghan, I think you're practically BRILLIANT... I just don't want to see you get your ass-kicked on your boards".... with those words of encouragement and wisdom, I have set out to read the ENTIRE Washington Manual of Critical Care in my 7 days off... it's going... welll, average. Time will tell on retention! But at least I'm getting a first shot at exposure... and it'll DEFINITELY take REPEART exposures to the material to get it cemented in my little Meghan-head before I take my Boards in August. And truth be told, I've been 'balancing' (generous "balancing") between studying and getting some of the loose-ends taken care of for the wedding. 2 of the 3 girls have their bridesmaid dress. I've got a START on their gifts. The invitations have arrived - and are awaiting assembly. I have meetings with the caterer, vineyard and frenchie cake-maker in my next week off. So I've been takin' care of some FUN business on the side too :) Speaking of which, while work remains "status quo" I suppose there are some interesting 'personal life' developments worth updating! The first of which is: Ryan got approved to "separate" from the Military... this means he gets to get out of his current Active Duty contract and become a Civilian! This is what he was hoping for and we are super excited they are actually LETTING him! This way, instead of hammering out 1-2 classes/ semester as he serves Active Duty full-time, he'll be able to walk away, free and clear, and just be a "regular" civilian. This fall semester, he'll be a full-time college student for the first time in his life! We figure if he can take a 16 credit load, he should be able to take the MCAT for Med School in about 3 semesters. This exciting turn of events doesn't mean that he'll be done with the military for good (he hopes and plans to go to USHSU (pronounced: "you-shoes" - the Armed Forces university for med school in Bethesda, Maryland). If he does that, he will of course owe time in service back to the Air Force when he completes his residency. But all that is several miles down the road, for now, we're just pumped that he can buckle down and focus on school where he'll be enrolled at Old Dominion University when we move to Virginia this fall. As for me, my assignment in Virginia still stands (hence why we're driving out there!). As soon as I pass my boards ( I plan on testing ASAP post graduation- hopefully, within 14 days) I can leave for the next possible ODS (Officer Development School - get used to me talking in all these abbreviations for the next 3 years! lol) that is, the Navy's version of bootcamp for officers in Portsmouth, Maine. ODS is only 5 weeks - and thank goodness - because once I graduate, I won't be getting a paycheck til after I graduate ODS! So with THAT pressure on me to pass my boards, I better wrap up this benign post and go study. Miss and love you all! And whether I see you in my travels in the next 2.5 rotations, or at the wedding this summer, I can't wait to see you all! Know you are very missed and loved! xoxo Mego

PPS week!

So I haven't blogged in a week, because I've been too busy enjoying trailer park life with the Bears at the Elks Lodge. We were back on campus all last week for our "PPS Week" - which is just a fancy acronym for a weeks worth of seminars on professionalism, resume writing, and various pertinent topics in medicine. It's actually kind of enjoyable - well, the sitting still for 8 hours is hard to get used to again (can't believe we did that EVERYDAY for the first 12 months of our education!)- but the plus side is, versus the school year, there's no homework or studying once class is dismissed! So it's just show up for face-time, and punch out and go play shuffle board and drink $3 (strong) mix drinks at the elks with the bears! :) I start my next rotation on Monday, but I don't yet have my schedule. I've heard through the grapevine though, that it's a 7 days on/7 days off schedule- which would ROCK! I spoke with my preceptor earlier in the week and he seems like a very nice British gentleman. I'll have more to blog about once the new rotation starts, but for now I'm just dividing my time between the gym and playing with the bears! Just wanted to check in with my loyal followers and say, all is well, and more adventures to come! xoxo Mego

Obession!

So my latest infatuation is with the new One-Sweep eyeshadow from L'oreal. Let me tell you, it's AMAZING! I got the purple version - shown here - for brown eyes. It actually works just like it says it will! ONE SWEEP and your make up is DONE! No more base + lid contour + liner + highlighter... nope... you get ALL those steps in one. And the color combo is really complimentary. This stuff shaves 5 minutes off your make-up time in the morning. I was skeptical- yet intrigued- when I first saw these advertised. But now that i've tried it I'm a believer and I'll be going out to get one or two more of them. Best $5 I've spent in a LONGGGGG time! :) I highly recommend you add it to your Target shopping list this weekend.

arfarf

LOVE MEGO xo

Irish we are...

... Irish we be! This is among many little fond memories I have of Saint Paddy's day (or hell... a TUESDAY) growing up with my Dad singing "I've been warshin' my arse in da Liffey... I use it as my personal biffy!..."

Awwww yes, the one day where the whole world gets together and drinks to honor my crazy Irish family and all their ancestors, current members and would-be-destined-descendents... Growing up in the Goff/McKenna house meant lots of Irish pride... claddaugh rings, necklaces, earrings at every 1st Communion, graduation, 16th birthday etc... and lots of trying to avoid going to church with our adorable and faithful mother (I now wish I went EVERY Sunday with her), and of course lots of drinking, swearing, story telling and temper tantrums. Such is to grow up in an Irish household. And I wouldn't trade it for the world!

I've been to Ireland several times and I cannot wait to go back! This Saint Patrick's Day my thoughts turn to the fact that I haven't travelled to Ireland ... or Europe... or out-of-the-country for that matter, since I returned from Franceland in Fall of 2006! I need to break this streak asap.

In honor of St. Paddy's and Europe, and my amazing irish Family, including our Patriarch Steve Goff and our ties to the Aussies... and all the drinking that is associated with ALL of those things... I'd like to offer my latest (CHEAP) wine obession: Anthropologie Australian Shiraz... I got it on sale for $11 at Safeway and it is big, jammy and delicious and WAY more valuable than it's bargin price implies. If you see it in a store near year, swip it up! You won't be disappointed!

Slainte! And Erin Go Braugh! xoxo Meghan (name translation: Irish derivative of the Greek name Margaret; means "strong one" or "pearl".)