Character Studies and Rants...

So... there seems to be two main populations I deal with... and of course, they are the extremes. Either I have the patients that come in asking for 5 months of disability for a HANGNAIL, or I get the person with a CLEARLY fractured ankle coming in 10 days POST fall just- and only because the swelling was so bad they could no longer force it into their boot for work... uggggg

I feel like I should host a mix-er where both the hypochondriacs and the non-reactors could get together and teach the other group their ways... Again, the Eileen McKenna school of medicine that I grew up in ("if it's not arterial bleeding, and you still wanna go to gymnastics practice, then quit whining") has made me sympathetize more with the tough guys than the frequent flyers... but still, even with my bias I recognize the unhealthy aspects of both groups' approach to care.

In honor of that, here are some GEMS I've encounted thus far...

Patient #1 : Chief Complaint (reported to me via my tech) "Patient would like an MRI so she can be diagnosed as dyslexic".... Now, I can get her an MRI to diagnose her as CRAZY TOWN but, ain't no brainscan for dyslexia. And after 45 minutes of one of the most disjointed, anxiety-ridden conversations I've ever born witness too... I finally had a plan for her: Referral to mental health and a manic depressive disorder! Yikes

Patient #2: 40 year old male with "penile discharge"... now don't worry, this isn't going where you probably think it's going... his "discharge" was PEE... and upon digital rectal exam, he had an enlarged prostate... so after palpating the poor man's prostate, I told him "Now, you need to go over to lab and get the very first catch of urine in the cup becau-..." He states starring at me in HORROR as I am taking off my ky-jellied gloves and throwing them in the trash (which I thought was a perfectly RATIONAL thing to do with them...) but he interrupts my instructions and starts yelling "whoa whoa whoa!!!!! What are you doing?! Why are you throwing that away?!?! Aren't you tossing the sample?!?!"... I'm thinking, "did ya really think I went in there and scraped a lil' of your prostate under my finger nail for cytology to take a look at..." But instead... I had to calmly and with a straight face say "no, sir. I was just explaining to you that now that we've stimulated the prostate what we need is a URINE sample..."

Patient #3: 25 year old female coming in for "Back Surgery..."
Turns out, she wanted relief of work orders (what we call 'quarters' for Active duty Airmen) because she was having a MOLEEEEE removed from her back, or as she liked to referred to it, her BACK SURGERY... uggggg... Shaving something the size of a pencil eraser off your back and putting a bandaid over it, HARDLY qualifies as an invasive procedure mandating disability leave! uggggg This patient was such a joy, that the tech's started referring to her as "Eoyore"... because the second you went into the room there was an instant black rain cloud over your head. We were all quoting "thanks.for.noticing.me." and siging "I'm just a little black rain cloud... hovering over the trees..." the rest of the day. So ironically, this bitter patient, actually made our day BRIGHTER ;)

Hope you all enjoyed the stories... just a tip of the iceberg... trust me... hehe

Miss and love you all! xoxo

Alaskan Extra Curriculars...

It's a been a great but LONG 11hr+ days week! But on the plus side, that means I have today OFF! It's been so nice to spend a lazy morning in bed chatting with my grrlz back home, takin' my time witha proper breakfast (my favorite meal of the day) and working on my 2nd pot of coffee :)

So to celebrate my vacation day, I thought I'd kick off my weekend of excessive blogging with some shots of the amazing things I've been able to experience here in Alaska!

Last weekend Ryan took me skydiving for the first time and LOVEEEEDDDDD it! We went with 6 friends from work and we all did tandum jumps with people that are actually trained and know what they're doing - so we didn't have to do any of the ground-school classes stuff... just showed up, got our PowerRanger suits and JUMPED! It was AWESOMEEEE! My tandum leader was (read: is) an Army Special Forces Ranger- he's done something like 7000+ jumps! CRAZY TOWN! Needless to say, I made a special request for as many flips as possible leaving the airplane. They took us up in a Sesna with all the seats removed, save for the pilot's. We were crammed in there like sardines. Because the plane was so small, there's only room for two jumpers, the two trainer/tandum professionals, a videographer (if you choose to buy a dvd of your possible last act on earth - which of course I DID, and YES, it's supposed to be in the mail on Monday so I'll be sure to post it as soon as I get it), and the pilot.

They take you around for a 20 minute tour of the Valley, and then... as you watch the altimeter on your wrist climb to 10,000 feet... you JUMP!!!! I wasn't nervous or scared at all! I was just psyched! The best part is when you step out onto the beam outside the airplane door looking down at 10,000 feet, wind whipping by you... and then the release!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOMEEEEEE... you're technically supposed to pull your chute at 5,500 ft... but because my guys was a) pyschotic and b) knew I was too... he didn't pull until 4,800!!!! Ride of my life. Even though Ryan and his guy jumped first, we were the first to land! hehe The photos you see here include the whole group of us pre-jump (and no, my friend Teresa did not put her little girl Bella in the babybjorn for the jump); Ryan and me making a fashion statement in our suits and nerdy hat/ goggles; and me practicing the landing technique in the trapeeze :)

The weekend before last, 5 of us went camping 3 and half hours north of Anchorage at Lake Louise. It was truly BREATH TAKINGLY beautiful up there... Ryan took a TON more pics than this but here's a few to get you started for now. I don't know if you can see how COMPLETELY coated in mud Amber and I are in this pic... but believe me - the jump into the very COLD lake post ride was DEFINITELY worth the pain!

Lastly there's a shot of Ryan and me and trudging through the woods with his 12-gage shotgun on my back... Grandpa Dar would be so proud. And yes, I fired a gun... and yes I hit my very first clay! It's in my blood I guess... or maybe the fact that Ryan's an official Marksman rubbed off on me, whatever it is... just don't tell anyone or I may lose my npr membership.

Well, off to run some errands and take care of some business on my day off here. I miss and love you all BEAUCOUP!!!!!

xoxo Mego

When in Rome.... er, Alaska...

Sorry I've been slacking on my posts, everyone! My dumb roommates neglected to pay the internet bill (ahhhhh, I KNEW there was a reason I swore I was done having roommates...) uggg. Anywho, that's not my only excuse for my M.I.A.ness... I've also been out enjoying the wonderful things Alaska has to offer in the summer.
Since I got here 3 weeks ago, I have camped, hiked, climbed, skydove, 4-wheeled, and most shockingly perhaps, shot GUNS! hahaha Before you think I've completely turned my back on my bleeding heart liberal ways... just know that the targets were all pointed in the direction of Sara Palin's home in Wasilla (true story!). ;)
Well, I will be posting more tonight, but I just wanted to let you all know I have not COMPLETELY fallin' off the face of the Earth. More to come SOON! You are all missed and LOVED! xoxo

The BEST birthday EVER!

WOW! To say that I had a great birthday would be a gi-normous understatement!!! Had an AWESOME day at work (performed my first procedure ALL ON MY OWN - ingrown toe nail removal! - You know you're a PA Student when THAT'S a birthday highlight...); followed by a kickbutt workout; followed by a post-workout meal of chocolatechip Balance Bar and individual sized Champagne, that Plunko got me (thanks, Plunko!) - see photo...

But truthfully, the BEST part of my birthday came from all of YOUUUUUUUUU and the TRULY heartfelt and moving messages, voicemails, emails and texts I received throughout the day. I don't use this word often or lightly... but I am SOOOOO truly BLESSED to have you in all in my life. I cannot imagine celebrating the highs, or making it through the LOWS without each and everyone of you and your critical role you play in my life. I love you all SOOOOOO much!!!!

Well, this is just a quick post before I go out and celebrate in downtown Anchorage for the first time! A bunch of Airmen that work with me are taking me out... if Liam's facebook photo albums are any indication, I should be afraid... VERY afraid :)

MUCH MUCHH MUCHHHH LOVEEEEE - Mego

Chinese Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul...

Well, today has been ROUGH to say the least... but thanks to all of you, you took a hard day and made it better. I LOVEDDDD being able to chat with my Mumsey, Tait-a-ma-win, Aunt Maureen (HUGEEEE BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT in order there as well!!!!) Lyssie and the Bears... I seriously, wouldn't be able to do this without all of you. Thank you for boistering me up, giving me strength and support - even from afar, I feel it in a BIG WAY!
Adding to the 'interesting' day I had, my immune system apparently thought I wasn't dealing with enough stuff, so it decided to shut down on me. Thank goodness it's a Sunday and I've been able to truly just SLEEEPPPP all day, but I've been fighting off this headache/cough/bodyache/chills/nausea thing since I woke up. Wow, a week into healthcare and I've already gotten sick from my patients :P
Well, thanks to the Bears (aka Blair and Justin - for those of you who haven't met them yet, you WILLLLL SOOOON) I had a knock on my door and two ginormous bowls of hot veggie, chicken noodle broth soup and two cans of ice cold 7-up... AMAZING! Those resourceful bears called from HUNDREDS of miles away to get sickypoo Mego dinner and fizzy pop delivered to her doorstep. I am soooo spoiled. Thank you Bears... I heart you, and ALL OF YOU, big time. xoxoxo

Things I have learned in Week 1...

So somehow, I went to sleep 4 times and woke up and it was Friday and my first week 'on the job' was over?!?!! What just happened?! I've seen and learned a LOT in 5 short days. I discovered I really do enjoy Family Practice. It's fun getting to be the gate-keeper of peoples' health and well-being. You may not to get to deal heavily with some super involved, complicated, rare disease... but you CAN be the first to CATCH it, and refer that person on. Not to mention that even those 'outlie-er' patients will always have minor health problems that they come to you for, and you have to take into consideration their other, more serious co-morditities. So you may not be treating that specific crazy disease entity but have to stay up on it and how it might affect the treatment of the more seeminly bengin problems nonetheless.
In this past week, I've also discovered how HORRIBLE I am at being empathetic for 'babies' and 'fakers'... and believe me, even as I type that I realize how absurd it sounds ;)... but for real... 19 year old in for a STUBBED TOE... dude... areyaKIDDin' me?! ME: "How would you rate your pain on a scale from 0-10..." DUDE: "3/10" ME: (pushing HARD over the joints of the big toe) "Does that hurt?" *no reaction* ME: Can you stand on your tip toes? *patient stands on toes* ME: "Did it bruise at all when you did it LAST WEEK?" DUDE: "Nope" ME: "Can you walk on it without pain?" DUDE: "Yeah..." Soooooo... WHADDYAWANTMETODOABOUTIT?!?! good LORD! why even come in!?! Here's your Rx for ADVIL now get the hellouttamyoffice! - of course, I didn't say those last 7 words but I SOOOO wanted to!
I've also discovered how SYMPATHETIC I am to the people I didn't think I would be! For all my distain of all our 'fluff' lectures on how to counsel patients, and ask about home, pyscho and social health... I find THAT's the suff I'm good at and willing to spend the extra time on (versus big-toe-itis guy)... One patient I had was in for a possible migraine diagnosis. The poor thing broke down in TEARS 60 seconds into my interview with her... fiancee was deployed til 2 months ago, his brother commited suicide WHILE he was abroad. Her wedding is 8 weeks away, she's frustrated at all the weight she's gained and the big life stressors she's got going on... I felt like saying "honey, you don't need imitrex, you need a HUG and more walks in the sunshine!" :( Super sad...
One thing I especially love about this rotation, is the great job that the military does at encouraging the TEACHING process for the next generation of practioners who are up and coming. They really are soooooo willing to help you learn, allow you to try stuff, see interesting procedures, and just get in there... you get the impression that they REALLY do want you to learn and better yourself through your time with them. I think in other private practices it'd be so easy to look at an intern as just someone to come in and take half your workload off your shoulders, but these guys have been great at allowing me to SLOW THEM down... allow me to see patients first without them (doubling their work hours in the process) just so I can see and practice things for myself. Amazing people for sure... One of the PA's today pulled me from my fifth case of Hypertentsion for the day because he wanted me to assist with a vasectomy. I'm not even his intern and he cared enought to come find me and the PA I was working with so 'the new kid' could see something out-of-the-oridinary for the day. So awesome! The teaching-the-next-wave-of-PA's is definitely something I feel strongly about doing myself some day - if I ever grow up :)
That's I gotz for nowz... sorry for another uneventful post. Hopefully I'll get into some fun or trouble - or both :) over the weekend. Stay tuned... miss and love you all! xoxo Mego

So, Cailtin demanded pics of the ADORABLE 3 month old twins of the couple I'm renting from... so here you all go. Their names are Saphira and Shawn. Shawns the one being good in the photo and Saphira is fussin' but still uber cute :) Off to work... more stories to come after today, I'm sure! xo